Seriously.
I keep telling people that, but they don't believe me. Honestly, if this sort of thing were to happen in California, Californians wouldn't stand for it. They'd protest until it was fixed. What am I talking about, you may ask? Tornadoes.
Last night I survived my first tornado watch. Or warning. Whichever's worse. Whichever means that an actual, hell-bent tornado touched down within the same zip code as yours truly.
This sort of thing just doesn't happen in California.
I was so freaked out. There I was, blissfully watching the Stars/Canucks game (that's hockey to all you uninitiated folk), and suddenly the world is ending and a swirling vortex of death, doom and destruction is bearing down on ACU. WHAT IS THAT?? I almost started crying and called lovely Brianna, Lynn and Nicole to come over and help me calm the heck down. Brianna and Lynn came directly over, but Nicole got locked in her dorm and wasn't allowed to leave because of the tornado. That's about the time I REALLY started to freak out. By the time Bri and Lynn got to my apartment, I was sitting on the couch, watching the Weather Channel, remote control clutched in my hand and my feet shaking like mad. Natalie, my lovely roommate, is also from California and deals with tornadoes only slightly better than myself. She called me from the basement of the Campus Center where the kids had been corralled and offered to brave the shelterless distance between the Campus Center and our apartment so I wouldn't be alone. Lovely, lovely friends. Stupid tornado.
I mean, really. Earthquakes are so much better! The last scary earthquake was the Northridge earthquake of '94 -- thirteen years ago!! The last scary tornado? LAST NIGHT! What happens right before an earthquake? Nothing! You chill, you live life, you go about your business in blissful ignorance. What happens before a tornado? Tornado watches and warnings and huge storms and lightning and thunder and sirens and trees falling over and running and screaming and dooooooom! How long does an earthquake last? 30 seconds, tops. Tornadoes? Hours of anxiety and fear and uncertainty. Are earthquakes fun? Heck yes! It's like someone popped a quarter in the earth's magic fingers, and you have 15 seconds of earth surfing. Are tornadoes fun? NO. No, no, no! How do you protect yourself from an earthquake? Get under a table or in a doorway while a couple things fall off shelves. How do you protect yourself from a tornado? YOU HIDE IN A BATHTUB. Honestly, a bathtub? You sit in a bathtub with a mattress over you while the roof is ripped away and you're sucked straight up out of the tub and into the infinite abyss. Great plan, guys. A freaking bathtub.
So basically I was scared, but Lynn and Bri and I said a prayer together and prayed for our friend Alex to be safe while he was driving back to school and they assured me that this was standard practice in Texas, so I started to feel much more calm. I also called my mom (which always helps) and projected some of my adrenaline overload onto her. She said I wouldn't believe how much she got done in the half hour after my first call because she was hopped up on nerves. Bri and Lynn calmed me down, the lockdown at the dorm ended, the immediate danger passed and I felt much better. I went to bed feeling tired and a little shaken up, but overall okay.
Then I had the craziest dream.
Okay, my mom is laughing right now because when I'm home, about every other morning I'll come stumbling out of my bedroom, eyes and voice still thick with sleep, and, completely mystified, announce, "I had the WEIRDEST dream last night." My mom thinks it's cute that I still seem surprised after all these years. I actually recently started keeping a dream diary and entries include a parallel Hollywood universe mansion with an entertainment library whose librarian is a skeletal Michael Jackson, Prince William announcing his engagement to his girlfriend and the Princes' nanny and I trying to dry out a drunk and belligerent Prince Harry, and most recently, a strange amalgamation of the mafia, vampires and real estate.
So anyway, weird dreams are not entirely uncommon to me, but it still scared me. I had a dream that my Dad was here in Abilene and there was a whole tornado scare going on and we had to drop Trisha off at her apartment, but instead of running to a first-story apartment where she would be safe like we thought she was going to do, she ran over and plopped down on the lawn and started reading! Then my Dad and I drove around a corner and saw TEN tornadoes all touching down at the same time -- all huge -- and my dad conversationally remarked "Look at all those tornadoes! How beautiful!" I actually remember thinking in my dream that I wish everyone could see my face because it was a perfect mix of shock, fear and "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE??" Dad and I met up with Brianna and we headed over to her apartment, and as we walked outside the tornadoes had gotten bigger and closer. I screamed and started freaking out, but there were two guys sitting on lawn chairs on the grass, just watching the tornadoes like it's a spectator sport and looking at me like I was completely unreasonable and silly. I wanted to grab them and scream, "YOU SHOULD ALL BE MORE SCARED RIGHT NOW!!"
Then I woke up. I was so scared I had awakened myself from my nightmare and couldn't get back to sleep. I just KNEW the tornado sirens were going to go off at any second, and I swear I could almost hear them. My feet were shaking again and my eyes were wide as dinner plates, and I seriously considered trying to crawl into bed with Natalie, or at least camping out on the floor in her room. However, I decided that I was too old to be crying to others in the middle of the night when I have a nightmare, and I needed to pull on my big girl panties and deal.
So I slept in the bathtub.
It's a crappy plan, but it's all I had, so I grabbed my sleeping bag, a blanket and all my pillows and made up a bed in the tub. Actually, once I got in there it was incredibly comfortable. It felt like a little cocoon, holding me close and tight and safe, so I pulled the shower curtain closed and went to sleep.
I'm really okay, but this is just so freaky. I don't know how to deal with this kind of thing and I'm a little peeved at Texas. I mean, we were just getting to be friends. Yesterday afternoon I was driving along in the beautiful sunshine, admiring the open green fields with the cute shrubs some people mistake for trees, and I thought for the first time that Texas was truly beautiful. I appreciated it. I liked it. I enjoyed being right where I was. Then it comes back and slaps me in the face with a freaking tornado. You're a mean ol' cuss, Texas, and one of these days you and I are going to rumble.
Here's a picture of where I slept:
And here's a picture of how I felt:
(My little sister Trisha with our old dog, Pupperoni)Alright, diatribe over. Thanks for hanging in with me, and a big thanks to all my friends and family who listened to my prolonged freak out over the last 12 hours.
Happier things next time, I promise! Peace, kids!
6 comments:
I'm with you on that Grace... those things sound freaky. Hecks-of-funny blog, by the way. Glad everyone is ok!
ok, i love your blog. Did you get the photos I sent to Bethany? I'm also sad to tell you that one time we did actually have a tornado touch down in Sunnyvale while I was in high school. And we all ran outside to see it too...brillant. just like your dream! i'm totally with you - 'quakes are MUCH easier to manage. Ignorance IS bliss. Texas IS a mean old cuss. California is and always will be BETTER!
Holler!!! Adelle, I'm so glad that I've found a kindred free (Californian) spirit in you. It helps to know that I'm not the only one who thinks like this!
P.S. Bro, I've totally started saying "hecks of" instead of "hecka" now! Love it!!!
okay, so i DIED laughing throughout the whole thing. especially when you slept in the tub. seriously. that's stinking hilarious! i kept thinking about what I was doing during the whole thing, and maybe something's wrong with me, but i wasn't the least bit scared. my cousin was though, so we went over to the basement of the library and played games in the computer lab. you should join us next time. :)
I think it's all what you grow up with. I think nothing of a tornado watch (which is weather that could result in a tornado) and barely a tornado warning (a funnel cloud has been spotted or a tornado has touched down). I did have an experience with a tornado last year that was way too close for comfort. But it was the worst tornado in West Tennessee in many years and it resulted in 20+ deaths. The last major earthquake I remember was 89 in San Fran and surrounding. It lead to many more deaths. And I personally like the warning. But if the sky isn't some weird color, I just go about my business, and hope the lightning goes away so I can take a walk in the rain afterwards. Next time you have a warning, call me, I'll talk you through it.
If you want to read my tornado experience, it was posted in April of last year
So, my husband and I just moved to Bethany OK, near OKC for three months of training at the FAA academy...I am from CA, born and raised. Needless to say, I am hecka right in there with you with this whole thing. I am convinced that I am going to be killed by one of these big buggers while I am living here for these three months. I have always said that quakes have to be better...And I am convinced they are! Thanks for you rblog. Good to know I am not the only one waiting for the touch downs.
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